- Employer: So how qualified do you think you are for the job, sir?
- Me: Hella
- Employer: Welcome aboard
- student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
- uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
- scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
- us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.
i just hid 27 of these little bastards around the house
and im waiting for my parents reaction
”WHY THE SHIT IS THERE A CHICKEN IN MY COFFEE CUP”
the first chicken has been found
“amiee we think you have a problem” my parents say as they hold 15 tiny chickens in their hands
1000 notes because i terrorized my family with small chickens